If you don’t have anything original to say, leave Lord Lytton alone.

So there I was, seated in the second row, at a daylong writers How-To. The room was filled with published, soon-to-be-published, and if-I-could-only-get-this-down-on-paper writers. On the dais were a collection of published authors assembled to share their experiences, love of craft, and general writing tips and principals. These authors were what I would consider mid-level authors—authors not yet on the NY Times bestsellers list so they also have day jobs. That’s ok. I didn’t expect someone on Dan Brown’s level, so I wasn’t disappointed. Truth be told, I was excited. I had every expectation of it being a full day of tips and insights I could run home with and polish up my latest manuscript.

It started off with a meet-and-greet over Danish and coffee, the obligatory smiles and raised eyebrow interest in our latest projects, and then got down to business. The morning session centered on character development, eased into plotting, and slid right into foreshadowing before the lunch bell signaled the end of the session.  The morning was light, interesting and involved audience participation, and I captured it all within four pages of notes. I was going to be a polishing fool by the time I got back to my manuscript that night.

Lunch was enjoyable. We clustered at tables in groups outside, going over different aspects of the morning session. We hurried through our box lunch, getting ourselves ready for the pearls of wisdom we were sure would be forthcoming in the afternoon session. Personally, my interest for the whole day was focused on an author in the afternoon session whose topic concerned the setting as a character. He was an author who also had an academic background.  

I yawned through the first author, whose name I forget. He spent most of the time convincing us he was well known. I pondered to myself how well known could he possibly be if he had to go through that much of an explanation? At some point he mentioned a few things about dialog, but my interest was forfeited long before he got to his talking points. He finally finished.

It was time. The topic I came to hear was about to begin. I turned to a fresh page in my notebook, neatly wrote the topic on the first line, and sat ready to be mesmerized. Imagine my disappointment when he starts out by reciting a portion of the opening paragraph of Paul Clifford, an 1830 novel by Edward Bulwer-Lytton. He posed it as a question and did so while omitting the opening sentence—a sentence much parodied and one most people would recognize whether you new the origin or not. This was followed by a regurgitation of myopic critiques on Lord Lytton. Needless to say, I put my pen down.

What was that first line, you ask? It read thus: “It was a dark and stormy night . . .” Sound familiar? It should, even Snoopy got in on the act by typing that line for the opening sentence in his attempt at the great American novel. But he wasn’t the only one. Poe penned the same line in one of his short stories, as did Madeleine L'Engle in her Newbery Medal-winning novel A Wrinkle in Time. So why pick on Lytton? I ask myself that every time someone uses it as an example of poor scene setting. It all goes back to Lytton’s contemporaries scoffing at such an opening for a book. Personally I would say it was more sour grapes than editorial critique. Edward Bulwer-Lytton was one of 19^th century England’s most widely read and prolific authors, so it naturally makes him a target to the rest. Every great writer has his critics—before there was a New York Times best seller list it was the only way the public knew they were great writers. Face it, who would quote a nobody?

 Those opening their How-To lectures using this one obscure line from a vast body of work might want to think about basing their direction on something from this century and leave Lytton alone.  Or at least, give the man some credit while you’re at it. Bulwer-Lytton had a varied and prolific literary career, writing historical fiction, romance, mystery, and even science fiction. His plays were produced in London and New York, and his novels were the basis of operas by Richard Wagner and William Henry Fry. Here’s a couple other famous quotes penned by Lytton that should sound familiar: “the pen is mightier than the sword,” and, “pursuit of the almighty dollar.” Even Great Expectations would have had a very different ending if it weren’t for Lytton convincing Dickens to revise the ending to one the reading public would find more acceptable.

So, what does this all have to do with the How-To’s of writing fiction? It basically comes down to this. What someone did or didn’t do a hundred years ago is going to be more confusing than helpful, especially when it’s taken out of context. There are only four basic rules to follow.

1. Write your book. Not one based on how someone else says you should write it. Get it all down on paper. Reread it and refine it until you’re happy with it.

2. Get it copyedited. This is the tough one. When I say get it copyedited I don’t mean give it to your niece because she got straight A’s in English, I mean spend a few dollars and have a professional editor go over the whole book. They’ll look at grammar, pacing, continuity, etc. Working with a professional is an eye opener, and will be the best investment you can make in your writing career. If you have it in you to be a successful writer, a good copyeditor will help you bring those talents to the surface, with the result being a publishable manuscript.

3. Querying agents. This isn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to be if you keep one thing in mind—a rejection is only one person’s opinion. There are also 2 parts to this: 1-Query, 2-Submission.

The Query: Writing a query is to some extent harder than writing the book, but not necessarily undoable. Start with a high level outline and distill it down to 3 things: who your protagonist is, what they need to overcome, and who/what is stopping them from achieving their goal. Open with a tag line (the Hook) and jump right into the 3 Things. Finish off with any writing credits you might have, but don’t worry if you don’t have any.

The Submission: Do your homework. There is a plethora of information at your fingertips about the agents dealing in your genre.  Look over their current deals on their websites, check MS Wishlist for what agents are excited about that week. Purchase the latest copy of Writers Market. Think about attending writing conferences where you can have a scheduled one-on-one pitch with an agent. The list goes on.

This could take some time, so be ready for that. Like anything else in life, you have to put your manuscript in front of the right person at the right time. Getting a rejection doesn’t mean your book stinks; it just means it wasn’t right for that agent at that time. I’ve always looked at a rejection as a badge of honor. It proved to myself I was serious about my writing. I was out there, pitching my book, taking my best shot. So you keep doing it until you hit it right smack in the center. And until that day comes, you continue to query but concentrate on #4.

4. Start the next book. If you followed 1 through 3 think about all you’ve learned. Apply it to your next book and start the process all over. I think you’ll be surprised at the result.

One final thought. Allow me to quote the inspiration for this rambling on a more positive note. There’ll be a lot of dark and stormy nights in your writing process. As long as you remember you have all the tools necessary to weather the storm, you'll be just fine. So, get back to work.


Picture Credit: Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton by Henry William Pickersgill

A Few Words About Rejection

So you got rejected. As a writer you should understand this is all part of the process. It’s not like this is something new. We have experience rejection since we were old enough to draw on a wall with a crayon. We saw it as art, but mom saw it as a reason to hide the crayons. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t art.

We put pen to paper (or actually fingers to keyboards) with the idea of one day standing beside those literary giants that inspired us to do more with our thoughts and imaginations than just daydream. We toil over a keyboard for what seems like an eternity. Editing, then editing again. Reading, editing, moving this, adding that, until we are certain we hold within our hands exactly what the world has been waiting for–the novel all future novels will be compared to.

With the query written, and the first chapter attached, the email shoots off into hyperspace in search of a worthy agent for such a masterful work of fiction. You start the next book, certain your offer of representation is being drafted simultaneously. Maybe just one more cup of coffee as you await the email alert indicating your invitation to success has arrived.

Then it happens. You open the email and, with little more than a polite salutation, your heart is ripped from your breast. It’s a short paragraph, and the only word that stands out is – ...unfortunately.

No need to read on. That same feeling comes over you. The painful vision of mom collecting up the crayons and carrying them off to another room flashes through your mind. You weren’t old enough to understand then, but you should now. Even though mom took the crayons away, you didn’t stop finding ways to express yourself or finding an audience for that expression. You continued on despite the rejections you faced. For those who didn’t give up, the roots of those scribblings blossomed into true artistic expression.

Remember, as with every artistic expression, it’s not suited for everybody. Patience and a belief in what you’ve produced should keep you to task. I read somewhere 90% of writers don’t become published authors because they quit after the first sense of rejection. If you look at this from a glass half-empty/half-full perspective, what really happened is 90% of your competition has been eliminated. You can certainly compete with the other 10%.

With the New Year upon us, it’s time for a new resolution. You felt strongly enough about putting those fingers to the keyboard, now keep at it until your query lands in front of the right person at the right time. Do your research, continue to develop your writing skills, and get the next idea on paper and out the door. There is an agent out there waiting for you’re your submission, don’t disappoint them.  

A very bright and Happy New Year to all the soon to be authors out there!

Have you hugged an editor lately?

It takes talent, patience and a skilled editor to make a good book great. This is a friendly reminder in an age of POD and the “you can’t get it out there fast enough” attitude. Don’t let the enthusiasm to see your name in print allow you to sidestep these three elements. Getting it out there fast might satisfy your ego, but the last time I checked, egos don’t buy books.

Here you are, two years of your life spent compiling the pages of your first novel. Think about all the research material piled in the corner, all the time you spent chasing down facts and making sure your characters and settings are believable. After all those nights of cold pizza and warm orange soda, you now hold in your hand the result of all that hard work and sacrifice. But are you really done? Are you ready to start submitting the work to publishers? Should you self-publish? No matter which avenue you venture down after you think your manuscript is complete, there is nothing more important at this point than the impartial eye of a good editor. And by good editor I mean a professional in the industry who cares more about the quality of the book than your feelings.

We all know mom and dad, and even crazy aunt Marge who reads nine books a week, will love your contribution to literature just because you wrote it. This will be painfully evident by the artwork you did in third grade, which is still adorning mom’s refrigerator door. They mean well but, no matter how much you insist on an honest critique, there will always be some hesitation on their part to give you the honest, critical opinion the manuscript needs. Lingering in their subconscious is the fear of becoming the main characters in your conversation with a therapist; that negative light they cast on the work, discouraging you in your quest to author the next great American novel. You may want to entertain the idea of bypassing their opinion at first, unless mom or dad or crazy aunt Marge is actually an editor for a New York publishing house, and you give them the manuscript claiming it belongs to a friend. It worked for me.

When I first started writing my mystery, “Along Came A Fifer”, only my wife and son knew I was writing a book. It took two years to write and, despite being in the same home, by the time it was finished they had yet to read a single word of the story. They knew the characters and parts of the plot, mostly because I roamed the halls of our Victorian like Marley’s ghost, talking through the dialog and staging the scenes. It wasn’t until it was finished that I told the extended family and friends of the project, followed with a promise to keep them posted on the publisher and release date.

Now what? I’m not good with criticism, but, as much as I hesitated about someone picking through my work, I put the manuscript in the hands of that all-important critical eye. They took the story, weeded out the confusion, tied up loose ends, made changes that enhanced the plot and the character interaction, and I could go on and on. This is not to say I agreed with everything. There were a few loggerheads, and a couple heated discussions, but compromise and respect for each other saw us through the otherwise painless process.

The bottom line is, it didn’t matter when I thought the work was ready for the public, what mattered was when the editors and publisher felt it was ready. That day finally arrived. Almost four years after I typed the first word, my book was published by a small independent publisher and introduced to the mystery lovers of the world. What a tremendous feeling. Finally, my name in print on the cover of a mystery novel. I was filled with excitement for days, almost forgetting about the next reality check- my first review.

I didn’t have long to wait. With my reading glasses in place I couldn’t procrastinate any longer. I picked up the newspaper, turned to the arts and leisure page and read the headline. It was at this point I truly appreciated the journey and the contribution of the editors. The Sentinel gave my book a glowing review, which I read at least six times just to make sure it was my book they were talking about, followed finally with a sigh of relief. I don’t know how the book would have been received if I had just charged forward, rushing the book to market myself, but I’m sure the success the book enjoys now is due to a firm grip of all three elements.

About a month later, and with a few books under my arm, it was off to the family picnic. Mom and dad loved it, and couldn’t wait to put a copy of the review on the fridge on top of my artwork- the fact that I’m 50 now doesn’t seem to matter to them - and Aunt Marge had no idea I knew so much about London. I just sat back and smiled, this was certainly worth the wait.

I don’t know if Hallmark is looking to add another holiday to their card line, or even how politically correct it would be, but “Hug An Editor Day” is the one that would get my vote.